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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24225964">like water in a tsunami</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiry/pseuds/whiry'>whiry</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bobby Nash Being a Dad, Christopher Diaz Has Two Dads, Eddie Diaz Loves Evan "Buck" Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley Loves Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Married Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Post-Tsunami (9-1-1), but not really, but not very much at all, everybody loves buck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:10:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,148</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24225964</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiry/pseuds/whiry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>a year later, buck is still trying to live with the aftermath of the tsunami. luckily, there are some people there to remind him just why he's their hero.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Christopher Diaz &amp; Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Howie "Chimney" Han, Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Howie "Chimney" Han &amp; Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Original Female Character(s), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley &amp; Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>491</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>like water in a tsunami</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>in this, buck struggles a little bit with inner demons sort of thing, but nothing too descriptive and it's all rather brief. he mostly talks about his anxieties in a descriptive way, but if that might be triggering, here's your warning.</p><p>this was written in maybe 30 mins and is unbeta'd, so i apologize for any mistakes.</p><p>hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When the year anniversary for the tsunami comes up, Buck thinks nothing of it. His nightmares virtually disappeared a few months ago, an occasional straggler slipping through. Christopher’s stopped a bit before that, that’s what Eddie said, and Buck hasn’t had any reason to contact anyone from the tsunami, not that he knows anyone’s contact information anyway. It’s not like they were exchanging phone numbers and email addresses on top that firetruck.</p><p> </p><p>But the tsunami is the furthest thing from his mind when the date in September rolls around. He gets dressed for the day, grabs his bag, and heads out the door. The radio briefly mentions it, but Buck just flips the channel to find some tunes. It’s not like he’s avoiding it, necessarily, he just doesn’t need to be reminded of one of the worst days of his life, the day when he almost lost everything by losing Christopher. He doesn’t need that memory in his head.</p><p> </p><p>He gets to work, greets everyone like normal, and suits up in the locker room. Someone’s watching the news upstairs and they’re talking about it, but Buck just tunes it out and goes to get fresh coffee.</p><p> </p><p>And the day goes on. He gets a couple of strange looks from people, but he ignores them. Everyone at the station knows he was at the pier when the waves hit, knows that he somehow survived. They don’t know the in-between and they don’t need to. Buck hasn’t told anyone what happened, not really, and he glances over a lot of it. Doesn’t need the memories, doesn’t wanna think about it. Keeps the nightmares away that way.</p><p> </p><p>They go on calls, he chats with the team, they have lunch, no one asks him about it. And it’s fine.</p><p> </p><p>Then, in the early afternoon, when everyone’s pretty much waiting for the next call, this crowd of people walks into the station, all holding various baked goods or Tupperware dishes or cards. Buck peeks over the railing when he hears people asking what’s going on. Bobby is standing down there with them and Buck squints because he swears the girl in front looks familiar and so do the two people behind her and—</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh God. Please no.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Can I help you?” Bobby asks. The woman smiles kindly. Buck thinks her name might be Alicia, but he’s tried hard to block those memories out.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, sorry, I know I probably should have cleared this with you, Captain Nash, but, well, once we found out, we just had to come—”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, found out what?” Bobby asks, trying to remain polite but clearly a little frustrated at not knowing what’s happening.</p><p> </p><p>“That Buck was a firefighter, at your station. We also heard that the 118 assisted with helping after the tsunami and we knew we had to come give our thanks.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby blinks in surprise. “Buck?” he questions. Buck tries to sink behind the railing, but Alicia catches sight of him.</p><p> </p><p>“Buck!” She cheers. The people behind her are all smiling and some are waving. Chim and Hen give him weird looks and Eddie is just staring at him. Buck wants to hide.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, I don’t understand why exactly you’re here,” Bobby says to Alicia. She smiles.</p><p> </p><p>“Buck saved our lives during that tsunami. All of our lives. He tied this fire hose to a tree and we used it like a line to climb on top of the truck and stay above water. All of us were up there, though there are some family members in this group too. But he was a hero. He pulled us up and made sure we were all safe and then sat there trying to distract his boy, especially when… When people passed by that didn’t make it. “ She gets quiet for a moment before looking back up and smiling. “Buck is a hero. We had no idea he was a firefighter, just that he was saving our lives and keeping our families together. We came to give our thanks and say sorry it took us so long to find you.”</p><p> </p><p>She’s looking at Buck for that last bit. He really can’t handle the scrutiny, but decides to head down the stairs so he can stand in front of her.</p><p> </p><p>“Really, no, it’s okay, I didn’t do anything, Alicia, it was just—”</p><p> </p><p>“You remembered my name!” she beams, eyes crinkling at the corners. She’s younger than him, only in her early twenties and from Sacramento, had a girlfriend she was desperate to get back to, he remembers all that. Turns out it wasn’t as blocked out as he thought. He blushes at her excitement.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I mean, I remember all your names,” He admits quietly, because he more or less does. Hard to forget the names of people you almost died with. He rubs at the back of his neck. “But you really didn’t have to do all this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, it’s not just for you, silly,” she teases warmly. “It’s for the entire 118, for all that you guys do. But, yeah, a lot of it is for you.” She laughs as he blushes more, not meeting anyone’s gaze. Then she looks at Bobby. “Do you mind, Captain, if we spoil your men and women?”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby is quiet and when Buck glances at him, he sees Bobby looking right back, a contemplative look on his face. Then he says, “Yes, of course. I’ll show you where you can set up shop. I’m afraid we don’t have much to entertain with, though.”</p><p> </p><p>Alicia laughs again. “We all brought plenty. And I have stuff sectioned by allergies too, in case you got any here.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby smiles kindly and leads her upstairs. As the people pass Buck, they all say thank you or some other form of gratitude until Buck’s face is on fire and his ears are burning.</p><p> </p><p>Once everyone is upstairs, Buck ignores the rest of the firehouse’s gaze and heads upstairs after them. They’re all mingling and getting food set up, and he hears his fellow firefighters come up the stairs behind him to see the spread. Alicia and Bobby are organizing everything, Chim, Hen, and Eddie further setting things up.</p><p> </p><p>Buck lets everyone get their food and drinks and talk, and stays on the outskirts of it all, avoiding eye contact with anyone who passes him.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, he gets thirsty and realizes that if he wants to get a drink, he’s going to have to get into the fray. He braces himself and moves past everyone. He makes it to the drink table when someone calls his name directly to his right. He looks to see Alicia and Bobby engaged in conversation.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey.” He says, strolling up with his drink in hand. At least it gives him something to do. Alicia smiles kindly.</p><p> </p><p>“We were just talking about your track record for the LAFD,” Alicia tells him, smile turning into a smirk. “Apparently, you’re quite a catch.”</p><p> </p><p>Buck laughs shyly and ducks his head. He really can’t take all this attention.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” he says and takes a drink so he doesn’t have to say anything else. Then a thought pops in his mind. “Hey, how’s, uh… Laura?”</p><p> </p><p>Alicia smiles encouragingly. “Yeah, Laura,” she confirms. Then her smile turns wistful. “She’s good. You were right about her being at that clinic, by the way. She almost drowned, but she’s a fighter, even if she is a total ‘fraidy cat. ‘Least she is most of the time.” Alicia holds up her left hand, a ring sparkling on her fourth finger.</p><p> </p><p>“No way!” Buck holds the hand to examine the ring. It’s a dainty little thing, but beautiful nonetheless. “She proposed to you?”</p><p> </p><p>Alicia laughs. “She barely had the balls to do it. Guess almost dying in a natural disaster gives you courage or something. Then, when I proposed right back to her, said I’d only marry her if she’d marry me, she called me an idiot and started crying. Our rings are matching, picked them out together and everything.”</p><p> </p><p>Buck finally drops her hand. “I knew the second you started freaking out that she was more than just your girlfriend, the way you talked about her.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s the way you talk about people you love, your family. Same way you talked about your boy,” Alicia smiles. “Christopher, wasn’t it? We all saw him fall over, saw you dive in right after him. I heard through the grapevine you were still looking for him later that night. A lot of people were looking for him because of you. But you found him, didn’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>Buck doesn’t correct her that Christopher is not “his” boy, but rather nods. He gestures at Eddie. “Some woman had him, brought him to his dad. I was right there when we found him, thank God. I think I would’ve actually gone crazy.”</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t bring up how occasionally, after a particularly bad day, he still gets nightmares of losing Christopher, being unable to find him, the darkness closing in on him and swallowing him up. No one wants to hear about that.</p><p> </p><p>Alicia stares at Eddie and smiles. Buck watches along with her. Eddie, after a brief moment, notices their stares and looks back at them, a puzzled expression on his face. Then he starts to make his way over, unprompted.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh God,” Buck whispers under his breath. Bobby, who’s been silently listening this whole time, huffs a laugh and claps a hand on Buck’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll talk later,” he promises, and then moves past Buck into the crowd. Buck hates how ominous that sounds.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi,” Eddie says when he reaches them. Alicia, still smiling, nods her head in greeting.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi,” she replies. Then gestures to Buck. “I wanted to say how lucky you are to have such an amazing husband and son. They both were incredible during the tsunami.”</p><p> </p><p>Buck and Eddie both open their mouths to protest and Buck isn’t sure why Eddie suddenly stops and closes his mouth, but what’s running through his mind is that she called him Eddie’s husband, implying that they had a son together.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You have a beautiful son together.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The words from that one Christmas almost two years ago ring in his head. He didn’t protest then, mostly because he’d been so pleased with what the elf had said. She’d assumed they were a family and raising their son together. He had desperately wished it was true then, the sentiment only growing the more he got involved with Christopher’s life, and Eddie’s, for that matter.</p><p> </p><p>Because there is this… Unspoken thing between him and Eddie, and it seems like if they talk about it, they’ll break it. There’s the morning breakfasts before they take Christopher to school and go to work together, carpooling to save money or whatever excuse they’ve come up with, the subtle touches in the evening when they’re sitting on the couch together while Chris does his homework, the always seeming to know what the other will say or do and being able to do or say whatever is needed to balance it. They do everything together: work out together, eat together, take Christopher to the park together, go to work together, sometimes go home together. They’re joined at the hip, the bestest of bros if anyone asks, but most people just seem to assume they’re together already.</p><p> </p><p>Buck wants that to be true, but he doesn’t dare break the unspoken thing. And this conversation is breaking into unspoken territory.</p><p> </p><p>But then Eddie says, “Yeah, I’m pretty lucky,” with this soft smile and soft eyes pointed directly at Buck. Like that doesn’t completely shatter Buck’s reality and throw his world off axis.</p><p> </p><p>Alicia launches into the tale of how Buck kept Christopher calm during the tsunami, how he didn’t stop looking for him, had a whole crowd of people looking for him. Eddie just nods and smiles as she talks, but he keeps looking at Buck and Buck can’t tear his eyes away from Eddie.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, people start clearing up. There hasn’t been another call yet, but they don’t wanna chance anything. A bunch of people give Buck cards and express their gratitude again and it’s a lot of attention that he surprisingly doesn’t know how to handle.</p><p> </p><p>After everyone’s gone, and Alicia’s properly traded numbers with Buck, promising to invite him to the wedding, the team all corner him upstairs. He looks up from where he’s been cleaning.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” he asks, though he knows what’s coming.</p><p> </p><p>“You casually saved 15 people and you didn’t rub it in our faces?” Hen asks, hands in her pockets casually but posture set in disbelief.</p><p> </p><p>“It was only 14 people,” Buck corrects under his breath. Hen scoffs, meaning she and the rest of the team probably heard him anyway.</p><p> </p><p>“Only 14!” she exclaims, looking at Chim.</p><p> </p><p>“It <em>is</em> kind of bizarre you didn’t tell us about it,” Chim concedes. “I would have expected you of all people to be prancing around telling us about how heroic you are.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well, there were other things that were more important,” Buck replies, dropping the trash into the trash bag. He doesn’t even say Christopher’s name, but he doesn’t have to, they all hear it anyway. Eddie’s still got those soft eyes that Buck wants to ask about, but doesn’t feel it’s necessary right now. Unspoken thing and all that.</p><p> </p><p>“I am surprised you didn’t tell us,” Bobby says, looking at Buck evenly, trying to gauge his response. “You weren’t even on duty then.”</p><p> </p><p>Buck sighs and puts down the trash he’s holding.</p><p> </p><p>“What is there to tell? I saved everyone I could. Almost everyone, anyway. It’s what we do, save lives. It doesn’t matter if I wear the uniform or not, that’s just who I am. But I don’t need to come and brag about that. Just because I was able to save people during the tsunami shouldn’t have automatically put me back in the running. It was about helping people, that’s what it’s always been about. It’s a privilege to wear the uniform, but saving lives is something I’ll do regardless of how I dress.”</p><p> </p><p>Bobby has a pleased smile on his face at the end of his tirade, and Chim and Hen just look increasingly astonished and impressed. Eddie still has those too soft eyes and a softer smile paired with it.</p><p> </p><p>If Buck was pressed, he’d say it almost looks like there’s love in those eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Seems I was right that Halloween, then. Telling you that your uniform is not your costume. It is who you are, Buck, and you wear it well. I’m proud of you,” Bobby says, clapping a hand on his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>Buck blushes deeply from the praise, and at the sight, Chim and Hen coo and start teasing him. He tries to fight them off, but they manage to pull him into a group hug, Bobby and Eddie joining. Eddie rests his cheek against the back of Buck’s head and Buck manages to sneak an arm around his waist. Neither of them talk about it, but Buck is pretty sure it makes them both feel better.</p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>Eddie offers to drive Buck home at the end of their shift, even though Buck took his car to work. Buck agrees and they chat aimlessly about nothing until Buck notices they’re not driving to his apartment.</p><p> </p><p>“This isn’t the way to my place,” he says, glancing at Eddie. Eddie only smiles.</p><p> </p><p>“No, we’re going home,” he replies.</p><p> </p><p>As they pass under familiar street lights, realization sets in and Buck feels warm all over. He leans back in his seat, unsure of how to respond to that. Eddie doesn’t add anything, so Buck lets the calm silence wash over them.</p><p> </p><p>They park in front of Eddie’s house and get out, both grabbing their duffel bags and heading to the front door. They both have keys, but neither of them make a move to get them out.</p><p> </p><p>“So… Husbands, huh?” Eddie says after the silence drags on for some time.</p><p> </p><p>Screw the unspoken thing, apparently.</p><p> </p><p>Buck stares down at his feet, because looking at Eddie’s expression is making his heart hurt.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what Alicia thinks.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what a lot of people think,” Eddie corrects. They both go silent again until Eddie says, “That’s a mighty big step. Why don’t we start with a smaller one?”</p><p> </p><p>Buck looks up and Eddie’s smiling again. Something bursts in his chest.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll follow your lead,” he promises. Eddie’s smile grows.</p><p> </p><p>“I know you will.” Eddie steps closer to him and Buck feels panic seize up in his chest for a moment before he realizes that he’s actually allowed to have this.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ve got each other’s backs,” Eddie teases, calling back to one of their first conversations together, the conversation that started them on this path.</p><p> </p><p>His hands cup Buck’s face and Buck grabs gently at Eddie’s waist.</p><p> </p><p>“You want this?” Buck whispers, because he can’t stop the doubt from creeping in. Like water in a tsunami, it comes in waves.</p><p> </p><p>“Always,” Eddie grins, like that’s not one of the biggest promises he’s ever made. Buck finds that he has nothing left to say so he moves in and Eddie meets him halfway and it’s… Everything he was expecting and more.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t know how to describe it. The way he and Eddie move together. But there’s no hesitation between them, even if this is their first time actually kissing each other. They move like they’ve always done this, tilting their heads to deepen the kiss, Eddie’s fingers sliding back to grip the back of Buck’s neck and tangle in the short strands of hair there. Buck grasping tightly at Eddie’s shirt, pulling him in so their whole fronts are flush together, warm heat encompassing them.</p><p> </p><p>Buck feels safe and secure and like he can breathe, for the first time in a long time. There’s so much awful, scary stuff in the world, that tsunami just being primary in a long line of bad. Buck used to think he’d never untangle the Gordian knot that was his emotions, his nightmares, and secrets he kept at bay.</p><p> </p><p>But here Eddie is, taking his share of the burden, lifting the world off Buck’s shoulders, and it doesn’t seem so scary anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Because the darkness can always come back, but it can also always be fought.</p><p> </p><p>Buck thinks that maybe as long as Eddie keeps loving him, and he knows that he does and that he will, and as long as he keeps fighting, that he won’t be consumed anymore.</p><p> </p><p>The thought fills him with more hope than he’s had in a long time.</p><p> </p><p>He pulls away slowly, bumps his nose into Eddie’s, and doesn’t bothering reining in the grin on his face. When he finally does pull back enough to see Eddie’s bright eyes and beaming face, he says,</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go home.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi, i accidentally fell face first into this fandom and now here i am. i've literally written like 5 different fics immediately after watching the series and still haven't even finished season 3 because i was so busy writing garbage, which i will probably post later.</p><p>i absolutely love buck and eddie co-parenting chris and simultaneously being in love with each other (and sometimes knowing that they love each other) and this is my contribution, along with the obligatory post-tsunami post. i also had to write about how badass buck is because he is my baby and i love him very much and everyone should appreciate him more, please and thank you.</p><p>i hope you all enjoyed it! let me know if you wanna see more with eddie and buck! i have this idea to post a collection of one-shots or something, but we'll see how that turns out! thank you &lt;3</p><p>tumblr: http://provokiing.tumblr.com</p></blockquote></div></div>
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